This Could be a Problem For You, a Big One

Is that Hanger? Nuts!

Say hello to Senator Emmett Hanger, and now say goodbye to your balls....if you are on Chris Hanson's radar. The republican from Virginia is not a fan of violent sexual offenders and as a result he would prefer that their nuggets get ground to a fine dust. Sen. Hanger's proposed bill would not only cause immense pain (no anesthesia, right?) to the scum of our society, but it would also cut the prison budget. Simply put, a win/win.

This is one of those things were everybody is all for it until it's their marbles in the vice. Seriously, before you write your local elected official demanding this treatment for pervs in your area, I would give a looksie at what constitutes a "sexual offense" in your neighborhood. For example, you are an 18 year-old freshman in college and your roommate, Klug, has his 17 year-old sister up to visit for the weekend. Naturally, the two of you (no, not you and Klug) get to hammering a bunch of 4-Loko's and BOOM - you have now committed statutory rape of Klugette.

"I hope you enjoyed your balls one last time" sneered Senator Hanger.

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