Not in any way relevant
Sorry for the semi-hiatus. We know that your world was shattered, up was down and black was white over the last week or so. What kind of blog gets a little mojo going, tops 15 readers in one day (!), really starts becoming hilariously funny and then stops? Nobody, except for us idiots naturally. Anyway, that is all in the past because we are here again. In honor of your great loyalty, I have decided to run down the 5 biggest stories during our time off and drop a line or two that would have most likely not have had its own post if we were here. To the Trees! :
1. Ricky Gervais hosted a show and offended some weaklings: I didn't watch this live, but have since seen his opening shots since everyone was talking about it. Sooooo, this was not that bad, right? He had the balls to make fun of Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and even took a shot at Robert Downey, Jr., well holy shit. Synopsis: These liberal assclowns get pampered every day and told how great they are and when one of their own makes half-hearted jokes just to get ratings they want the world to feel bad for them thereby drawing more attention to their pathetic lives. Suck it Hollywood.
2. NFL action! The Jets beat Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in a 8-day stretch. Impressive. The Packers absolutely dismantled the pretender Falcons and squeaked by Vick (insert dog killing joke here). Good work. The Bears' luck continued after the Seahawks beat the Saints, so the Bears got to beat a 2-13 team at home to go to the NFC Championship. Posers. And the Yinzers from the Burgh took advantage of 41 Raven turnovers to advance to the AFC Championship. Oh yeah, everyone in the world watched all of these games thereby making everyone associated with the NFL many monies. Yet, the owners and players may have a lock-out next year because they can't decide how to split $900 billion equally. Logic wins the day!
3. An Arizona punkbitch shot some people: This is buried at #3 because it is so sad and enrages me to no end. Some kid decides driving to a Safeway and shooting at a political official and some innocents is the best way to become famous? In my book that is the best way to get a shiv in the shower from Dirty Ears Bill. My guess is that this idiot is wishing he ordered one more Double Double from In N' Out and gave the whole shooting spree idea another thought. What is up with West Coast kids? The worst.
4. Auburn won the National Championship: Remember when your hot 3rd grade teacher told you money can't buy happiness when you were running that NCAA Tourney pool? Well, Gene Chizik thinks that flousy was full of shit. Auburn proved that not only can a team blatantly pay players and the NCAA won't care, but also that karma doesn't give a damn either. I am seriously ashamed to say college football is my favorite sport. Enjoy the 6th Round money, Cam.
5. I finished Season 2 of The Wire: Oh yeah, this is definitely news. Definitely. Suck it, Ziggy.
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