Ft. Wayne Assumes You Are 5 Years-Old

Official Government Photo of Harry Baals

Testes, junk, sack, marbles, nuggets, pills, berries, ping pongs, clangers and.... Harry Baals. These, apparently, are all words people use to describe testicles. If that list made you laugh then you are exactly the person the Ft. Wayne, Indiana government fears.

Mr. Harry Baals was a 4-term mayor of Ft. Wayne in the 30s, 40s and 50s and more recently the runaway winner of public poll picking the honorary name for a new government center. The big Harry Baals Center would, in my mind, be a charming spot to get some real government shit done. But the leadership of Ft. Wayne does not want to give the public what they want for fear that Conan O'Brien will make fun and tarnish a great man's legacy. Family members are not happy as you might imagine. Though, I find it odd that this proud family sneering at us from their, very mature, pedestal felt the need to change the pronunciation of their name from "Balls" to "Bales" over the years. But why? Oh, probably that distant cousin Richard Andy Baals.

Whatever, I say. You are now a joke regardless so you might as well get the publicity and not ignore public opinion like communists would. So the lesson here is Ft. Waynians are communist bastards who refuse to recognize the greatness of Harry Baals in our society.

Source

**Thanks to Dizz in the 'Nati