Great Moments in Gambling History

I'll assume that most of you are not degenerates, and that you have no idea who Dan Mahowny is.  For those that do, you know nothing beats the rush of placing a wager on some sports action.  And absolutely nothing beats the feeling of a lost bet becoming a winner in an instant.  Since I haven't seen most of you at my GA meetings, I'll explain this nice and slow.  Last night, the Oklahoma City Thunder took on the Dallas Mavericks on TNT .  With nothing else on TV except the GoDaddy Bowl, I decided to tune in to some NBA hoops and place a wager on....the Over (192.5) of course. For you novices, that means that I needed the total points scored by both teams to be greater than 192.5.  193 would work just fine.  With about 25 seconds left, Oklahoma City was up  99-92, and Dallas had the ball (that's 191 points folk--just need a basket).  OKC wasn't playing much defense as they were just making sure Dallas didn't jack up any uncontested threes.  Layups were welcome.  Dallas saw this and decided to get a quick two points.  Well, some kook on the Mavericks channeled David Wesley and totally bricked the layup. The rebound went to OKC with 16 seconds to go.  Shot clock off + Dallas coach screaming "no fouls"= Disaster for over-backers.  Kevin Durant had the ball and was just dribbling out the clock as I cursed that Maverick idiot for missing such an easy deuce.  With still only 191 points on the board, the best was lost.  Until one of the strangest things I've ever seen in my gambling life happened....

Facebook Gangsta, You Lose

This video is popping up around the blog-o-dome and while we usually shy away from posting things that you 12 read elsewhere, this baby deserves an RTB reco. In case your white suburban-ass can't understand what is happening - this guy caught his nephew acting all hard on The Facebook and didn't really think his nephew should be acting in such a manner. So, he peaks so hard all over him that all of the Tubes felt it.

A tip of the proverbial cap to the always awesome Film Drunk.

An Elevated Train Report: The Door Man

I ruve it, rhen ree touch...

** A quick note: For those who are old members of the site you will remember the "El Report" as one of our regular columns. The idea is that those of us who live in decaying, urban hell-holes have to take public transportation to get around. Naturally, these rides result in ridiculousness of all shapes, sizes and smells. Hence, the need to make fun of these experiences and people. Also, any person referred to is always a male because we know you beautiful woman would never do this shit.

Today we are discussing one of the most stubborn breeds of public transport users: The Door Man. You know him, you elbow him, you loathe him, but when given the opportunity you most likely become him. DM is the person who gets the pole position next to the door and refuses to give any of his precious real estate. The train could be crowded or it could be relatively empty, either way Door Knob here has worked hard to be in everyone's way and, damn it, that is right where he is going to stay.

Lose a Mom, Gain some new Daddys

Give me that cocktail...fruit!

In a seriously sad tale, 10 year-old Joseph McVay shot and killed his mother apparently because she asked him to do chores. While there is no report on how much cash young McVay demanded in allowance contract negotiations, I think we can assume his agent did not get him the number he was after.

TRIVIA TIME: Can you guess in which state a tragedy like this would occur? Answer later...

Unfortunately for Joseph, he killed his mom in a fit of rage and probably didn't mean it. As a result, he will be headed to some type of Sleepers situation at some god-forsaken juvie center. Of course, the kid did have six (!) guns in his room including a loaded rifle and 12-gauge so I think it is fair to say he was what your 88 year-old neighbor would call a "troubled youth." Best of luck JoJo, but I don't really think you deserve any.

TRIVIA ANSWER: Ohio (I see, said the blind man)

Source

Coaaaaach's Corner

(...because Asians with boobs are sweet.)

The hottest athletes of all time...according to the retards at Bleacher Report. How Allison Stokke is not the unanimous #1 is beyond me.

Let me guess, this statue is somewhere inside the walls of the Vatican. (I truly am Bored)

How, how, how???? Is Mike Brown of his fucking rocker? "Only two winning records in the past 20 years" is ridiculously pathetic for a team with so much talent on the roster. Translation: your coach sucks and it is 100% his fault. (Bungles)

5 to 1 odds that men will make up 20% of the market share for these things, which by the way are AWESOME (Barstool Boston)

Per your request: a daily slice of Da Heights! This Bell dude must be something special.

This Guy Thought 2012 Was Terrible Too!

Add one more to the growing list of people that aren't fans of the movie 2012.  Harold Camping thinks you're crazy if you think the world is going to end in 2012.  Camping says "that date has not one stich of biblical authority."  One might think Ol' Harry is a pretty level guy with his ability to know a shitty movie when he sees it.  Not so fast my friend.  Harry's going to try to come out with a '5/21/2011' movie--"the real date for the end of times."

Technical Difficulties

Please excuse the lack of posts today, we are experiencing some problems here at the RTB Super-Secret, Awesome, Bad-Ass Headquarters (visit our new branch in Peoria!).

We expect to be up and running again later tonight or tomorrow...like you care.