I ruve it, rhen ree touch...
** A quick note: For those who are old members of the site you will remember the "El Report" as one of our regular columns. The idea is that those of us who live in decaying, urban hell-holes have to take public transportation to get around. Naturally, these rides result in ridiculousness of all shapes, sizes and smells. Hence, the need to make fun of these experiences and people. Also, any person referred to is always a male because we know you beautiful woman would never do this shit.
Today we are discussing one of the most stubborn breeds of public transport users: The Door Man. You know him, you elbow him, you loathe him, but when given the opportunity you most likely become him. DM is the person who gets the pole position next to the door and refuses to give any of his precious real estate. The train could be crowded or it could be relatively empty, either way Door Knob here has worked hard to be in everyone's way and, damn it, that is right where he is going to stay.
