Ok, that headline is slightly misleading. Well, not really I guess. A few months back a South Side Chicago dog did relieve itself on some grass, thereby killing it. Unfortunately that grass was owned by Charles Clements, a 69 year-old kook who takes an uncomfortable amount of pride in his lawn. After Fido did his thing, Chuck confronted the pet's owner, father of three Joshua Funches, and informed him that his lawn was not to be tampered with. Sad, short story shorter: Funches told the old man to stick it, the old man popped his corks and killed Funches. This is where things get stupid...
